Purely By Accident
by Starry Lites
Summary: Clark gets an invitation to the Wayne Enterprises company picnic, and someone else decides she will be attending with him. Clark finds himself in an unusual situation with Lois and doesn't know what to do about it. Follows the Chris Reeve films.


Clark couldn't remember how he got into his present situation.

As far as he could tell, it had happened by accident. At least, it seemed to have happened by accident. Maybe he just couldn't believe it was anything but an accident.

Lois Lane slept with her head in his lap on a picnic blanket.

He took a deep breath and backed up his train of thought in search of his good luck trigger. Last week, Clark had been snoozing on his balcony (having fallen asleep while honing in on a police scanner parked at the corner coffee shop) when a black figure dropped down from the top of his building and landed like a cat beside him.

"Superman."

Clark looked down at his farm-worthy flannel shirt and raised an eyebrow over the top of his glasses. "Do I look like Superman?"

"If you weren't Superman, you would have already darted for your phone."

That had been his—supposedly friendly—introduction to Batman.

That following Friday, Clark went up to the Daily Planet roof to stash his work clothes, change into the suit, and take off for a mudslide in Bolivia. Standing over his usual hiding spot was a woman as tall as he, almost as muscular, and yet filled with an oddly juxtaposed feminine aura.

"Batman informed me that you weren't much of a talker. We think it would serve the three of us best if you would get to know us."

After deciding Wonder Woman was not going to give a proper introduction, Clark responded, "Neither one of you are exactly giving me much reason to become acquainted." He changed, stashed his clothes by kicking them between Wonder Woman's legs, and took off. She was gone by the time he got back.

Monday Clark went into work fully expecting to be distracted. It was the second Monday, and second Sundays were Lois' laundry day. The rest of her wardrobe rotated, but every second Monday Lois wore the same scarlet red, scoop neck dress suit and silver heels; Clark's poorest performance was on second Mondays.

"Kent!" Clark jumped at his boss' holler. "Kent, my office, now."

"Uh, yes sir, Mr. White, I'm on my way." Nervously, Clark put his things down and shifted them a couple of times until they were in an OCD perfect order.

"What have you done wrong this time, Smallville?" Lois asked, looking up at him without knowing her suit was driving him crazy, innocent as if second Mondays and their underperformance issues weren't her fault.

Clark straightened and cleared his throat. "N-n-nothing, Lois. I see no need to assume that I'm in any trouble at all." The coat rack jumped out at him on command, he stumbling into it. Heavy footsteps carried him into Perry's office, after running into Jimmy, though he put a decent amount of space between his run-in with the coat rack and his friend. Once securely inside Perry's office, Clark reached for his outstretched hand and took an envelop. "You are invited to the Wayne Enterprises company picnic," Perry said, "and you are going, _and_ you are taking a date."

Clark did pick a date, but he was too chicken to pick Lois. He also knew that Lois had a history with Bruce Wayne, and decided that was best left alone. He'd asked Karen from copy.

Then Karen got the flu. And Lois was the only other person left in the newsroom that Friday. At least she wasn't wearing anything distracting.

Clark took a deep breath and cleared his throat, standing in front of Lois' desk. "Uh, Lois, can I ask a favor?"

"The answer's yes, Clark." She didn't even look up from her computer.

Clark furrowed his brow. "Uh...I haven't asked yet."

"I know, but the answer is yes regardless." She finished her sentence with an accentuated key stroke on the period and folded her hands together, smiling. "You need a new date for the Wayne company picnic because I'm assuming Karen just went home with a very nauseous stomach."

"She had a cough."

"Oh." Lois frowned. "Well, she'll be feeling nauseous soon enough. But that leaves you without a date, and there's no one else still at work of the eligible type, and we both know you have no social life. So, you have no choice but to ask me."

Clark gaped his mouth at her. Would Lois really stoop to planting something in someone's food or drink to make them sick so she could go in their place to a picnic?

Of course she would. He was talking about Lois, and Lois spotting a perfect opportunity for a story.

Clark nodded. "Well, Lois, I'm glad you want to go with me. That's swell of you." Lois beamed.

Before arriving at the picnic, Clark had thought it strange he would get an invite to such a small function. What was he, as a reporter, supposed to gain out of a company picnic? Was there a story to be had? Who had given him the invite in the first place? His questions were answered when the company's CEO sat down on the same blanket he and Lois were sharing. "Mr. Kent. It's just _super_ that you were able to come. And look, you brought Lois."

"Bruce!" Lois came to life like a wind-up doll who had just had her string pulled; up until Bruce's arrival she had been leaning lazily on her elbow popping cherries in her mouth. "Bruce, I have million questions for you. What technology is Wayne Enterprises going to adopt? Do you think Chicago is going to win the World Series? Will you go out wi—" Lois had been inching closer and closer to him until Bruce closed his hand over her face. She continued, her voice muffled, against his hand.

Bruce didn't remove his hand, and smiled at Clark. "Constantly on the _fly_ with this one, aren't you?"

Clark smiled tightly. "That would be an understatement."

Lois sat back and cleared her throat in an effort to regain some composure. "Mr. Wayne, I'm surprised to see you without a date."

"Without a date?" said a woman as she approached and gracefully took a seat beside Bruce. She was a flawless beauty: rolling curls of hair, silky skin, trance-inducing brown eyes. One of her hands snaked around Bruce's shoulders. "Bruce has a date, Lois, no need to worry."

"Diana Prince," Lois seethed.

"This is Diana Prince?" Clark asked, his eyes widening, though he realized he was already staring at her openly anyway. "Wow, this is exciting. Meeting Diana Prince and Bruce Wayne in the same day."

Silence passed between them, the summer breeze picking up and teasing at the corners of the blanket. Bruce leaned into Diana with a smile. "Sweetheart, you look _wonder_ful."

"As do you, but you know I always prefer you in _black_." It was an awful lot of black for summer, Clark couldn't help by notice. Black polo, almost gray khakis, and black Florsheims; paired with his dark hair and dark silver eyes, Bruce was next to colorless.

But suddenly it clicked, and Clark realized why he had been invited. Batman and Wonder Woman had invited him and deliberately gave him easy clues to their identities, without knowing a thing about him. It was an incredible sense of trust, and he found himself relaxing and sitting back to get to know his soon-to-be friends. Too relaxed, he realized, because Lois looked back at him confused and surprised by what he said from time to time. When those happened he dropped back into full Clark Kent mode and waited for her to forget his slip-up.

But as the day wore on, Lois lost interest in their conversation, which had turned to a fairly serious discussion on world powers. Seeing as this train of conversation was hardly interview material, Lois curled up, tucked her legs under the skirt of her sundress, and fell asleep. Miraculously, over the course of thirty minutes, she scooted up until her head was using Clark's legs as a pillow.

Prickles and brushes of chills erupted over his skin, sending his heart pounding. Clark's breath was heavy, and he couldn't quite believe that Lois was asleep in his lap. Surely she hadn't meant to end up there; Clark was only the closest human being, and the likeliest candidate for pillow responsibilities. Purely an accident.

But it felt amazing.

His hand slid down to fan her hair over his lap, combing out the few tangles she'd accumulated. Bruce and Diana watched him intently, giving him his moment of silence to enjoy his dumb luck. Lois moaned and he was afraid he'd disturbed her, but she just shifted to give him better access to her hair. Clark grinned, unabashedly letting his cheeks flush.

Bruce smiled and squeezed Diana's knee. "I would have never pinned you with Lois."

"No?" Diana said, bumping his shoulder. "I saw it right away. Total opposites in so many way, but equal in passion. It's a beautiful match. Although Lois is not ready yet."

Clark frowned. "Not ready? But we've—I mean before I—there was one time that—"

Diana cut him off with a raised hand. "She is not ready. Her heart is still too focused on the superhero, the super star, the -- uh, billionaire playboy." She pecked Bruce on the cheek. "Lois will drop down out of the clouds eventually, but you must be there to catch her, or you'll lose her."

The breeze passed between them again, blowing the back of Clark's hair askew. Diana's words rolled over in his mind, a pit the size of Krypton engulfing his stomach. He'd always known that a relationship with Lois, the ability to even have a relationship with Lois, was a game of chance, as had been proven during the Zod incident. And the Zod incident also proved if he was ever to be with Lois, she had to learn to love Clark first. Loving Superman required too much compromise.

Clark smiled sadly at his new friends and nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

"She'll come around, Clark," Bruce said, standing and giving Diana his other hand. She took it. Once she was up, Bruce extended the same hand to Clark, and he took it with a firm grip. "We'll be in touch, Mr. Kent."

Clark gave the billionaire's hand one good shake. "I have no doubt. Until then, Mr. Wayne, Miss Prince."

Hand in hand, Bruce and Diana left Clark still with Lois's head tucked safely in his lap. Clark brushed some stray hairs back behind her ear. She looked so peaceful, and it felt so comforting to have her there, content with him.

He scooted back not quite a foot, Lois' head now cradled just above his knees. She stirred, but just turned in towards him, one hand resting on his calves. Breathing deeply, Clark leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. It was almost like she'd been expecting it. Her other hand tangled up around his neck and tugged at the ends of his hair. Rather than lifting her head off his lap, Lois pulled him as close to her as his body would allow given its current position. Each stroke of her fingers on his neck sent chills down his arms, each slight pucker of her lips against his own firing electricity to his very core. He tilted his head to open the kiss just that much farther, and Lois responded with a light moan.

Clark pulled away and sat up, smiling down at his partner. Though a smile still shone on her face, she was still fully engaged in her summer nap. Probably better that she stayed asleep, he realized. By the time she woke up, that kiss would linger as part of some amazing Superman dream, no doubt.

And the picnic with Clark Kent would remain in her memory a failed interview attempt with Bruce Wayne.


End file.
